Repentance and Forgiveness of Sin is given

I have been in the pensive mood for the last few days (or weeks). I feel a certain sadness.

Among many things, here is one of the reason. You see, I'm climbing Mount KK in about 2 weeks time and I think my hamstring, which I injured, would not heal completely in time for the climb. Not only that. The workout that I've put myself through, to boost my fitness, is just starting to bear fruit. And now I dare not exercise to much for fear of hurting myself again.

Really, I am just starting to enjoy myself... learning that I can get fitter and strong. I have never been a runner in school and now I am quite happy to jog slowly around kiara park for 5km... really slowly :)

So when I pulled my hamstring a week ago, I was quite anxious to get back to my regime so that I can get real fit. Real fit = easy climb = good time in KK. As I prayed over the healing of my hamstring and whether I should go back to exercise, I sensed in my Spirit not to run but to depend on Him for my KK climb.

I guess I should be quite happy about this - dependence. But really I wasn't completely happy about it. I mean this is my holiday. I should have the pleasure of knowing that I can climb mount KK... I mean I want to experience that satisfaction that I did it. I mean this isn't so hard to understand!

I am wise enough to know that if I 'argue' with God who will emerge the winner. But this hamstring thing is really challenging me. Depend on Him... even for my holilday?

So today I read something in Acts that gave me a glimpse of what I might be learning. In Acts 5:29-32 Peter said,"... that he might give repentence and forgiveness of sins..... "

It kinda shocked me because repentence is also given. It's given meh?

Then I realiase that what Jesus said is true. (duh?!). We can really do no-thing except through him, even repentence. (repentence means change our minds) We can't even change our mind/conviction on our own. This stupid simple 'little' thing called REPENTANCE also we have to depend on Him... sian! sian!

ooi.. but it's God's word. and it's true. and its VERY free-ing. now that I think about it.

He cause the repentance, I just chill out in Him.

So this KK trip I also must depend on him. At first I want to feel that I can achieve something and that I'm 'powerful' enough to control my life (through exercising, planning...etc not that that isn't good, just this is for me, for this season, for this moment.. I'm special you see :) )

Now I'm zero. God you be My Hero la. I just pray that you show up, don't make my hamstring pain again coz last week very siong. Also, let me have fun with my wife and friends. Take care of my business, bless me abundantly.... Yes God, I know I very chiong hei, you said it in scripture already, again and again. But just thought I tell you anyways.

Thank you Jesus for everything.